« Red Fish . . . Blue Fish — Marketing Reinvention ROI | Home | The Strategy of Marketing Stupid Names By The Tail »
Pro Bono Or Pro Bonehead? Or . . .
. . . “I Can Help If You Stop Being Stupid.”
From last year’s Worst Practices case studies file we have these doozeys from my pro bono work. Now why in the world would a guy like me work for free? Moi? The very embodiment of an enterprising capitalist entrepreneur?
Because I believe in giving back to society. Any of us who’ve risen (or are rising) to the top recognize that we have done so with the help of those who came before us. And I have taken big bites from the universe and done quite well for myself and since I’ve gained a lot, I feel it is my duty to give back whenever possible.
Now, since I get no sense of contribution by shelling out bucks to the uber-charities (which probably goes more to bloated staff salaries than to the people who need it), I select a few businesses or charities each year and donate my copywriting and marketing skills to those with a great product/service but could not afford my fees.
Two of last year’s candidates caused more agina than all my other clients combined. Did you catch that? The ones who got the whole shebang for free caused more trouble than all the paying clients . . . combined. There’s a Life Lesson right there.
What did they have in common? Just one thing.
Neither of them paid for thousands of dollars of work.
Their marketing problems were (and are) continuously self-inflicted. While I did everything I could to plot them a new course and right their sinking ships, they would come along behind me and make sure all the deck chairs were arranged properly, then invent new ways to ram it into the iceberg.
Ultimately I had to face the music and tell them this when they tried to wheedle even more free help (after I threw up my hands and walked away):
“I’d love to help you, but you’d just find some other dumbass way to shoot yourself in the foot.”
What a great line! And while I’d love to take credit for it, I have to tip my hat to the even sharper mind of Dilbert creator Scott Adams. You know it’s a good line when it makes your teeth hurt that you didn’t think of it yourself.
More to come on these companies because they are worthy studies of what not to do in running your business. And sometimes we can learn just as much watching our own companies through the reflection of someone else’s. That, and it’s less costly to watch others doggedly target the iceberg and learn from that.
In medieval times they would hang the bones or part of a corpse at a crossroads to indicate which fork you should not take. So think of these real-life tales from the front lines as the modern day digital (and less smelly!) warning at the crossroads.
I don’t want to go all Rod Serling on you and ominiously intone “There’s a signpost up ahead . . .” But I am curious, do you know which fork you’re choosing?
I’m gonna let Sam take us out with a pithy quote.
“I knew a man grabbed a cat by the tail and learned 40% more about cats than the man who didn’t.”
– Mark Twain
By Walter |
Topics: Client Top Secret, Lessons Learned, Marketing Mishaps |